Sweet Sunday

We had a lovely Sunday. 

 Full of sweetness.

Sweet things done, sweet things made, sweet quiet, sweet time together. 

A surprise for me.

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Falafels were loved by all.

Success

It's amazing to me that my kids are growing up so fast. 

Ella bakes and cooks for us at least once a week. 

 Asher is mischievous and thoughtful all in one. 

 Ethan can ride his bike now (and does, every spare minute of the day). 

Often I wish that I could freeze time. 

Even better would be the ability to scroll back to the past for a bit and drop in on Ella at three.

 Asher learning to walk. 

Ethan the babe asleep in the crook of my elbow. 

I remember so distinctly the time when I had no sleep and no quiet time to sit and read a book. 

When I looked ahead to this day. 

This very day! 

I looked forward to having three beauties of 10, 7, and 5:  not teenagers yet and not babes.

  I thought it would be perfect. 

And it is, of course. 

It's so perfect. 

My daughter loves to snuggle and leaves me flowers just because.  She is not sullen or unhappy.  Or too grown up to want to be with me.

My first son is keen and quick.  He is thoughful at times and at others so wrapped up in his active body that I have to speak twice.

My baby.  My Ethan.  He can keep up with the big ones and is so cheerful and bright. 

It's so perfect.

But it always has been. 

Those days of being so tired and so in need of some time alone.  When I read and re-read the favorite book of the week over and over and over and over.  When I wiped a lot of faces and changed a lot of diapers.  When my clothes were changed often because a sticky hand had reached for Mama.  When they needed me with them every second of the day and night.

I miss it.

It was so perfect.

Today in a class at church one of my friends mentioned that her teenage son had wished aloud for a time machine to go back and visit his 9-year-old self.  She had said "that's what journaling is for".  And he knew it but it's not what he had meant.  I can sympathize with his frustration at that answer. 

It's not the same. 

I want to go back and hold my babies again. 

I miss them.

Even though today is absolutely perfect.